Are you one of those people who freeze up when it comes time to deal with difficult issues?
Having difficult conversations is like asking some people to eat poison. They would rather avoid confrontations all together.
There have been times in my life I wish people would have just known what I was thinking. That way, I would not have to say anything to them about whatever was troubling me. Once I would finally get the nerve to say something it would not sound like I wanted it to, and I would feel just plain silly.
What I decided to do was to realize I was doing both that person and myself a disservice by not speaking up. They would assume our relationship was one place when it was actually another. I would be a hypocrite as a “friend” by not sharing what I really thought.
Those days are long gone, and I learned that I owed it to my friends, family and acquaintances to be honest and forthcoming in my dealings. Granted, when I first started this new found form of communication; I broke a lot of rules of engagement. I would say things at the wrong time and would feel horrible afterwards. I would quickly come under condemnation and would wrestle with that demon all night.
I kept reading the Bible and praying that God would help me to break free of things that seem to have me so bound, like fear and anxiety issues that would keep me from speaking up and out. I wanted to be at peace with “me.” I wanted to be at peace with everyone else and discover what it feel like to truly let love flow through me even when I had to confront someone in difficult times.
There is something so powerful in being transparent and authentic. It is the place many people wish they could move into and envy those who have. When we become transparent and authentic we open the windows of Heaven to meet us at the point of our need for peace and joy. The world begins to look at our lives through different lenses because our lives represent the one they wished for.
Who do you need to confront? What areas of your life do you think will change once you confront them? Are you willing to be laughed at? Are you prepared to be rejected? You may very well be, and that too is part of your being able to be free. You will finally learn what it mean to “Care Enough To Confront.”
Tech addiction has become more of an epidemic than initially thought.
Although the internet was intended to make us more interconnected; we have since discovered it is also having “disconnected” us from our unique ability to communicate with our family and friends.
While smart phones, tablets, and laptops are convenient and are a necessity to our daily lives; we have become so attached until now our devices have become our drug of choice.
Now, before you stop reading this; here me out.
How many people do you know who are still around who do not have a cell phone? Even the government has made a cell phone available for individuals on fixed income. Cell phone in some cases are the only phone many people have access to. The home phone has become like the dinosaur; extinct.
Take a walk through the mall or go to a restaurant or any public place for that matter, and you will see what I mean. People are on their cell phones. Couples are sitting across from each other looking at their phones.
Technology has completely taken over our lives. We have learned to depend on a device for walking, talking, entertainment, directions, instructions, communications of every kind and yet, we still have not realized how far we have grown from the direct conversation and communication with human beings.
We are created to stay connected with other people. We are created to have face to face conversations whenever possible; technology has replaced that.
I have been a featured guest on many radio and television talk shows sharing my thoughts and insights on the subject of Tech Addiction and find that many people found it to be refreshing to talk about the obvious.
Families of the 20th Century struggle with having dinner at the dinner table. Families in the 21st Century struggle with trying to locate each other in the same house.
How do we get back to human touch? How do we revive relationships lost in the digits?
Plan A Tech Fast
Choose a day to cut off the cell phone and stay off the internet when possible. Notice how your body feels. Take note on how your mind struggles to let it go. Push past the feelings and thoughts and get to the end of the fast. You will be glad you did.
Make Time with Someone; Their Time
Whatever you do unto the least of these; you do also unto me. Treat the person you are with; with respect and let them know they are worth your undivided attention. Parents on the phone never hear the child in need. Get off the phone and listen to your child.
When Possible Call Rather Than Text
A longtime friend sent me well wishes via a text message. I called and ask them not to do that again. Why? Should I have been happy with a texted birthday wish? No, this person had known me too long. When we set boundaries in our lives, people will respect those boundaries. They apologized understood my position and we went on from there and our friendship is strong.
Decide On Your Mission and Stay with That Plan
God has a plan for your life and He wants to make you happy.
It is up to you to discover your purpose and do not allow tech addictions and tech distractions. It is up to you to decide to stay with your mission in life and use technology for its intention, and that is to help you connect with people and to get the job done.
Set Limitations for Your Children
The American Academy of Pediatrics suggests that children under the age of 2 years should not be exposed to any device. Their brains are still in development and should not be placed in a position to get connected to a device rather than a person. Children 3-5 years no more 1 hour per day. Children 5 years and up 2 hours and teenagers no more than 4 hours per day.
Dangers of Tech Addiction
The dangers of Tech Addiction Are Isolation, inability to communicate; the development of abnormal behaviors when in social settings (no longer connecting to people you know well), spending more time with an imaginary friend rather than a “real” one. There are others, and I am sure you will manage to come up with your own.
Use technology for its intended purpose to create an interconnectedness that will be beneficial for your family, friends and business. Remember it is technology.
Have you ever thought about all of the things you think you missed in life? Are you one of those people who live life with a string of regrets? If this is you, than you want to continue to read this article.
Over the years I have counseled with men and women who feel their lives are not as wonderful on the inside as it appears on the outside. They live a life secretly wishing or wondering what would have happened “If.” If they had gone to that school, or moved to that city, married or even married someone else.
When we live from a place of regret we never measure up to our own expectations thereby creating this vastness of “would’ve, could’ve or should’ves.” God created us to be decision makers and co-creators.
It is difficult to appreciate the present moment when we are so depressed about our past decisions.
This article will address those “regrets” and assist you in becoming mobilized again to capture your true course and essence in life.
Turn Your Regrets Into Winning With Confidence Here
First, think about the things you regret you have not done or the places you did not go.
List those things in the order of their importance to you.
Then review your list to see which of those things can still be done. For instance, a trip to New York when you were a teenager. Think about how you could plan that trip now and take notes as to how you can still take such a trip. I know you will think but there may have been an opportunity there at the age of 16 that you do not have today. This could very well be true, however it does not mean there are not other opportunities that are just as wonderful as the one you think you missed out on.
Perhaps you feel you married the wrong person, and you took your marriage vows seriously and want your marriage to work. Consider this: Think about all of the qualities you admire in the person you married which led to your decision to marry them. List those qualities and see that person in the light of each of the positive attributes on your list. When we focus on things that are good, lovely, just, pure and virtuous we began to experience what we are thinking about . Once you shift the way you see your spouse you shift your perception and your response to them. This may require more work for some than others, but if you truly want your marriage to work; I am sure it will be well worth the effort.
As you continue to create this list be diligent and attentive to what you can do to work toward mastering what you wish you had done and what you can still do now.
Do not settle for “It cannot be done.” If you desire something and follow the path God has ordained for you; you will either see it manifested or you will change your mind about it or you will change your mind altogether. Either way, you will discover a peace that passes understanding and live a life fully and completely without regret.
Once you are free of Regrets you will learn to once again be thankful in all things. Your new found attitude of gratitude will emerge and your life will be move forward with great expectations by living in the moment. Not in the past or the future.
In the world of information overload, many people tend to struggle with information retention. While it is no doubt helpful for us to renew our minds through reading the Bible and other related writings; there are those who admit to struggling with their memories.
This article is intended to assist those people who are currently experience some sort of memory loss and would like some insight as to how they can recapture that loss and maintain a sense of quality in their thinking as they age.
Our memories are a very precious part of us because they remind us of the good times and the bad times that we have experienced. Not everyone has a memory that is as good as they would like. Sure, we all laugh when we forget what we were going to say or we walk into a room to do something and then have no idea what it is when we get in there. Your memory isn’t something that you want to see weaken so it is important for you to engage in a variety of brain exercises. They will help you to improve your ability in this department.
There are basic memory games where you have to match two like things. You can do this with a deck of cards or you can buy a memory game. Turning over two of them, if they are a match you get to remove them from the pile. If they don’t match you turn them face down again. Then you turn over one more card. The objective is to remember what you see where so you can match up pairs with those cards that have been exposed so far. You can even play such games online by clicking your mouse to show what you want to turn over.
Association is a great way to improve your memory. This type of scenario allows you to connect something new with something that is familiar. For example you can associate a person’s name when you are introduced with something that is familiar to you. Then when you see them again that familiar thing will be triggered by your brain and you will remember their name as well as were you met them. This is a handy tool when you are continually meeting new individuals for business or socially.
Most of us really like some form of music, and so you can use what you are interested in to improve your memory. As you sing along to the songs at home or in the car you would seem to know all of the lyrics right? Now try to write them down on a piece of paper without hearing the song. Changes are that key parts of it such as the chorus will be the most to stand out in your mind. Try to play the song in your mind from start to finish and to write down as may of the lyrics as you can. This is a fun way to improve your memory as well as to discover how much you really do know about the music you listen to.
The key to being successful is to find those types of brain exercises that you find to be challenging and fun at the same time. This way you will be looking forward to doing them each day instead of avoiding them. The more you work at it the more you will see that brain exercises do improve your memory.
This of these strategies as a workout for your mind. There is always room for improvement no matter how old you are or what your recalling level is right now. It is important to remember that after about the age of 30 the mind can start slowing down on a cognitive level. Don’t wait until then to start exercising your brain. Do it at an early age so that you are very on top of things as you do get older.
It can be a challenge to improve our memory with brain exercises. At the same time though it can really be a great deal of fun. Try to fit such activities into your daily schedule for at least 15 minutes. You will be surprised at how much more you remember. That will be a very good feeling for you at any age. The loss of memory can be short term in nature but it can still be frustrating. Give yourself every opportunity to have an exceptional memory that doesn’t forget those things that are important.
How many of us have experience moments of outbursts of anger and rage? Perhaps you are ashamed to admit that you have been angry or that you were enraged at sometime in your life. However, most of us being the “maturing” people we are, will be honest and let you in on a little secret: we have all been there.
While sitting by my mother’s bedside; I watch her slowing give way to the angel of death waiting in the spiritual corridors. I knew that the time was approaching; yet her is my mother someone whom I love so much and could not offer a miracle to save her. Although I prayed and asked God to do just that she was wanting to let go. I was fighting a losing battle, but still did not want anyone to not serve her.
One afternoon in walks a doctor whom I had not seen before. He was a tall man with grayish blond hair who wanted to meet with the family. He told us it was time to let her go; that she had lived more than 80 years and it would be best for her for us to let her go.
I have to tell you I am uncertain as to what took over my mind that day, but I can assure you now that it was not Godly. I was enraged that this stranger who knew nothing about my mother in life, but her chart number and diagnosis could be so bold to suggest we let my mother go.
There are few times in my life that I can truly say I became enraged. Perhaps you have never gotten angry and you are a rare breed who is always in control of your feelings and emotions. Well, I thought so too. Until I heard those words from a total stranger.
After few days, I ultimately took my place on the floor of that little chapel in the hospital. I cried out to God to help me do what is right. By then, my mother suffered two cardiac arrests and she was no longer breathing on her own. IT hurt deeply to see her in that state and to think I had something to do with that.
What choices did I have but to follow my mother’s wishes “do all you can for me.” And, I was determined to do just that. However, in that moment on the chapel floor I felt guilt, anger and loss like nothing I could remember. I needed God’s help. I needed some peace about my mom’s dying process.
The answer came. It was clear and with such peace that passes understanding it took me from anger, depression and heartbreak to a solid release. The next meeting with the medical team was more of a confirmation there was nothing more that any of us could do. And, more importantly; my mother wanted to go home to be with our Lord and Savior. And she did.
Perhaps you are discovering that life is not all so clear at times. Perhaps you have gone through some loss, heartache or disappointments that have left you drain or even confused about your decisions.
As difficult as it was for me in my human-flesh; I knew I needed God to release me from the weight of this. I did not feel anyone had the right to determine when it was time to tell someone their life had no more value. While I continue to take that stantz; I know my mother was saying “good-bye” and she wanted me to release her now. She was tired of this world and ready to go on.
That afternoon I watched as one family member after another left the hospital. I would not leave. I could not leave until there was no more life left inside that body. I stayed all night and I remember feeling this strong urge to sit next to her. I piled pillows up in the hard straight back chair and on my mom’s side and laid my hands on her and I talked to her and loved on her throughout the night.
I found the beautiful worship song by Tamela Mann “Take Me To The King” and I played in all night.
As the 3rd shift was about to end and the 1st shift nurse was preparing to come on duty; a deep sleep apparently overtook my willingness to not miss a moment of my mom’s final breaths.
The next thing I knew a gently hand touched my shoulder to say; she’s gone. Both nurses were standing there one of one side of the bed and the other with me. They both looked at me wondering what would come next.
I was no longer angry. I was calm. I was at peace, and so was my momma.
As we travel this road of life we must all be aware that the time will come when we will say good-bye to someone we love deeply. I do not know who that person is for you, I know for me it was my momma and my sister ( a journey I will share in another article). Whoever it may be for you, just know you will get through it and God will take you lovingly and gently through the harshest of times even when it seems he is quiet.
Satan Steals, Kills, and Destroys Through a World of Deception
Dr Faye Wilson uses basic language so anyone can truly see how they have been deceived and will come to the realization that they too can be totally healed and delivered from Satan’s master of deception: “Fatal Distraction: Steal, Kill, Destroy.”
The Body of Christ and the world at large have been walking under the hypnotic influence of a sinister, devious enemy. The Devil, Satan, Lucifer, our Adversary, Beelzebub has taken the souls of the innocent into his witches’ cauldron of deception. He has majored in something most of us never think about, and he has been able to skillfully keep billions in the prison of ignorance. He has been the one behind every dream aborted, every destiny miscarried and dream stagnated.
The Bible is not without evidence of Satan’s defeat. In the book of Saint John 10:10 “The thief cometh not, but for to steal, and to kill, and to destroy: I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly. Jesus spoiled principalities and powers and made a show of them openly triumphing over them in it. The Devil is defeated and he has no power over us but those we give him through ignorance of his deceptive tactics through Fatal Distraction.
The believer has a right to know the truth to make them free. Jesus paid a handsome price for our liberty and he cares that we are suffering. He cares that you are still sick, broke and defeated. The blood of Jesus was enough and is enough to help you live a victorious life regardless of who you are or where you come from.
You no longer have to be a victim to Satan’s evil plots. Through her new book “Fatal Distraction: Steal, Kill,Destroy” DrFaye teaches you that like the phoenix you too can arise from the ashes and live the life of being more than a conqueror through Him Who loves us.